Children: or how I saved myself from complacency

I was reading a blog today, a very clever woman, gorgeous, happy in her marriage, who was trying to assure herself that she didn't want children. Except, it really sounded like she did.

I wanted to tell her that no one is ever fully ready to have kids, because you can always find reasons to wait. I wanted to tell her the relief that I feel now that I was able to get pregnant, have a son, and raise him for the last 2 1/2 years. I wanted to tell her how great it feels to not focus on me anymore, and to not be so selfish anymore, and to love someone more than life itself. I wanted to tell her how you rediscover joy in the face of your child, and seeing the world through their eyes.

But, if I told her that, then I would be obligated to also tell her about the giant chasm of fear that I hold in the back of my soul, knowing all of the terrible things that happen in the world, being clueless as to how to teach my child how to make the good choices that I may not have made, feeling the pain of every suffering child in small spasms.

And then I would tell her that it is all worth it. Every second.

Please help me get this song out of my head!!!

T-shirt quilt: Phase 1

I am done cutting the shirts, attaching the interfacing, cutting the squares, and cutting the sashing.

I have never quilted anything in my life before, so I'm not sure how I am doing...

My mom helped me set up my old sewing machine, it is crusty and somehow, still functional.

Threading a sewing machine correctly is one of life's sweet pleasures.

You could seriously fuck yourself up on this thing, though, and I consistently forget to move the knee throttle out of the way, and nudge it at the wrong moment. Danger!

God, I love this song

word

OK, already, I want one.

Allergy season

I've got a headache like a pillow.
-Steve Albini

The Joys of Home Ownership

Our air conditioner just took a big shit on us.
I just had it serviced in July, but now it's dead.
Probably $2-3k to replace.
Luckily, it's fall, and we can wait a few months to decide what course to take.
I should have realized that big greasy puddle was not a good sign.
The thing is, like, 25 years old, so it still deserves a bit of respect.
Great, now I'm respecting inanimate (and non-functioning) objects.
But, still, not authority.

Chairy, NOOOOO!

OK?

His grandparents just got back from Ireland, but the life jacket is an anomaly.