Children: or how I saved myself from complacency

I was reading a blog today, a very clever woman, gorgeous, happy in her marriage, who was trying to assure herself that she didn't want children. Except, it really sounded like she did.

I wanted to tell her that no one is ever fully ready to have kids, because you can always find reasons to wait. I wanted to tell her the relief that I feel now that I was able to get pregnant, have a son, and raise him for the last 2 1/2 years. I wanted to tell her how great it feels to not focus on me anymore, and to not be so selfish anymore, and to love someone more than life itself. I wanted to tell her how you rediscover joy in the face of your child, and seeing the world through their eyes.

But, if I told her that, then I would be obligated to also tell her about the giant chasm of fear that I hold in the back of my soul, knowing all of the terrible things that happen in the world, being clueless as to how to teach my child how to make the good choices that I may not have made, feeling the pain of every suffering child in small spasms.

And then I would tell her that it is all worth it. Every second.

Please help me get this song out of my head!!!

T-shirt quilt: Phase 1

I am done cutting the shirts, attaching the interfacing, cutting the squares, and cutting the sashing.

I have never quilted anything in my life before, so I'm not sure how I am doing...

My mom helped me set up my old sewing machine, it is crusty and somehow, still functional.

Threading a sewing machine correctly is one of life's sweet pleasures.

You could seriously fuck yourself up on this thing, though, and I consistently forget to move the knee throttle out of the way, and nudge it at the wrong moment. Danger!

God, I love this song

word

OK, already, I want one.

Allergy season

I've got a headache like a pillow.
-Steve Albini

The Joys of Home Ownership

Our air conditioner just took a big shit on us.
I just had it serviced in July, but now it's dead.
Probably $2-3k to replace.
Luckily, it's fall, and we can wait a few months to decide what course to take.
I should have realized that big greasy puddle was not a good sign.
The thing is, like, 25 years old, so it still deserves a bit of respect.
Great, now I'm respecting inanimate (and non-functioning) objects.
But, still, not authority.

Chairy, NOOOOO!

OK?

His grandparents just got back from Ireland, but the life jacket is an anomaly.

invented word of the day

Today I received a promotional magazine from Kia, probably because I'm on my 4th Kia.
We currently own a Rondo, and we love it, and there was a big "article" about the Rondo and why people who buy them are so fucking special.
I came across a word that may have been invented specifically for my groundbreaking car:
CABINOCITY

C is for Crawford

I forgot...

...to post pix of my newest tattoo. It's on the back of my right arm, and it's BIG.

It's the Hand (or Eye) of Fatima.

euphemism

Rushing them guts.
(courtesy of my husband)

I am a closet Hindi

I also just read The Satanic Verses. I liked it.

Yo Gabba Iggy

Firebombing HP

I just got my laptop back after being sent to HP for repair 3 weeks ago.
I went through the 5 stages of grief, and recovered.
I ranted to a few uncaring customer service representatives for various companies that I wanted to blame.
Then, I just let it go...
So, I am back!

Then and Now

Iggy quote:

Mommy, it's wet and juicy outside.

Sundays this summer

I'm fully addicted to PBS's series Mystery!
Miss Marple is fucking adorable.
Foyle is subtle, and old-but-still-crush-worthy.
The sets boggle my mind, wartime England, the costumes are brilliant.
Last night I saw a preview for the new Sherlock Holmes, played by Rupert Everett *swoon*.
He's totally flawed and addicted to opium, Watson helps him keep it together.

I'm jazzed, which makes me a nerd.

I used to hate mysteries, but now I eat them like brain candy.

My mom gets me tons of paperbacks from the airport, so I read a lot of them.

There are some bad ones, many mediocre ones, but the good ones are so much fun to read that I slog through the crappier stories, happily.

I did finally start and finish Heyday, and it was beautiful, an intercontinental, historical chase set in the 1840's.

I keep thinking about the characters, I couldn't wait to find out what was going to happen, but now that it's done, I miss them.