I love my husband

p.s. it's my 36th birthday today!

Merry Holidays!

I love Charlie Crews

Damian Lewis from Life on NBC.

I love the Midwest

I'm not being sarcastic, I do!

I love the snow, and the quietness of winter.

I love the invigoration of the cold, and the comfort of warmth after.

I love how spring feels when it finally arrives, almost like I accomplished something by living through the winter.

I love Pee Wee

We were getting out our xmass decorations last week, and Iggy found a little nutcracker soldier that he was enamored with.
He kept calling it baloney, and we couldn't figure out why, since he's never had bologna, and we puzzled by his insistence that the soldier was named Baloney.
Later, we popped in a Pee Wee DVD (I have them ALL, every episode and film, including Pee Wee Christmas f. Grace Jones), and realized that he was referring to Billy Baloney, whose jaw hinges just like a nutcracker.
I love this kid.

Pearls of Wisdom

As I'm watching Tim Gunn, waiting for Project Runway, my husband hit me with this gem-
"These shows are like a Gay C. Penney's catalog!"

Not to brag or anything...

... but I have the coolest shower curtain ever.

I love puppets

Nevermore

I am a bad, bad, blogger.
My thoughts rarely make up a paragraph.
I have had some blog-worthy events since I last wrote.
A parent accosted me at a preschooler's program about how rude I am.
I totally wanted to cut a bitch, but didn't want to get arrested, so I apologized for "ruining" her child's program(cough*bullshit*) and let her walk away with her smug little face intact.
And later that day, I got rear ended in our old car, and now it's running like shit, but due to nothing that I can blame on the crash.
Here's a picture of my son ruining itsy bitsy spider for everyone (he is the pirate):

Children: or how I saved myself from complacency

I was reading a blog today, a very clever woman, gorgeous, happy in her marriage, who was trying to assure herself that she didn't want children. Except, it really sounded like she did.

I wanted to tell her that no one is ever fully ready to have kids, because you can always find reasons to wait. I wanted to tell her the relief that I feel now that I was able to get pregnant, have a son, and raise him for the last 2 1/2 years. I wanted to tell her how great it feels to not focus on me anymore, and to not be so selfish anymore, and to love someone more than life itself. I wanted to tell her how you rediscover joy in the face of your child, and seeing the world through their eyes.

But, if I told her that, then I would be obligated to also tell her about the giant chasm of fear that I hold in the back of my soul, knowing all of the terrible things that happen in the world, being clueless as to how to teach my child how to make the good choices that I may not have made, feeling the pain of every suffering child in small spasms.

And then I would tell her that it is all worth it. Every second.

Please help me get this song out of my head!!!

T-shirt quilt: Phase 1

I am done cutting the shirts, attaching the interfacing, cutting the squares, and cutting the sashing.

I have never quilted anything in my life before, so I'm not sure how I am doing...

My mom helped me set up my old sewing machine, it is crusty and somehow, still functional.

Threading a sewing machine correctly is one of life's sweet pleasures.

You could seriously fuck yourself up on this thing, though, and I consistently forget to move the knee throttle out of the way, and nudge it at the wrong moment. Danger!

God, I love this song

word

OK, already, I want one.

Allergy season

I've got a headache like a pillow.
-Steve Albini

The Joys of Home Ownership

Our air conditioner just took a big shit on us.
I just had it serviced in July, but now it's dead.
Probably $2-3k to replace.
Luckily, it's fall, and we can wait a few months to decide what course to take.
I should have realized that big greasy puddle was not a good sign.
The thing is, like, 25 years old, so it still deserves a bit of respect.
Great, now I'm respecting inanimate (and non-functioning) objects.
But, still, not authority.

Chairy, NOOOOO!

OK?

His grandparents just got back from Ireland, but the life jacket is an anomaly.

invented word of the day

Today I received a promotional magazine from Kia, probably because I'm on my 4th Kia.
We currently own a Rondo, and we love it, and there was a big "article" about the Rondo and why people who buy them are so fucking special.
I came across a word that may have been invented specifically for my groundbreaking car:
CABINOCITY

C is for Crawford

I forgot...

...to post pix of my newest tattoo. It's on the back of my right arm, and it's BIG.

It's the Hand (or Eye) of Fatima.

euphemism

Rushing them guts.
(courtesy of my husband)

I am a closet Hindi

I also just read The Satanic Verses. I liked it.

Yo Gabba Iggy

Firebombing HP

I just got my laptop back after being sent to HP for repair 3 weeks ago.
I went through the 5 stages of grief, and recovered.
I ranted to a few uncaring customer service representatives for various companies that I wanted to blame.
Then, I just let it go...
So, I am back!

Then and Now

Iggy quote:

Mommy, it's wet and juicy outside.

Sundays this summer

I'm fully addicted to PBS's series Mystery!
Miss Marple is fucking adorable.
Foyle is subtle, and old-but-still-crush-worthy.
The sets boggle my mind, wartime England, the costumes are brilliant.
Last night I saw a preview for the new Sherlock Holmes, played by Rupert Everett *swoon*.
He's totally flawed and addicted to opium, Watson helps him keep it together.

I'm jazzed, which makes me a nerd.

I used to hate mysteries, but now I eat them like brain candy.

My mom gets me tons of paperbacks from the airport, so I read a lot of them.

There are some bad ones, many mediocre ones, but the good ones are so much fun to read that I slog through the crappier stories, happily.

I did finally start and finish Heyday, and it was beautiful, an intercontinental, historical chase set in the 1840's.

I keep thinking about the characters, I couldn't wait to find out what was going to happen, but now that it's done, I miss them.

A Spike Lee Joint

I really enjoyed Inside Man, mostly because of this:

Too much blog, not enough Dobbs

Soul Kiss

Moody

wow

new Muppet movie

I call it the Nimoy...

Here is Iggy's latest Flow-Bee cut, that machine is awesome! No fuss, no mess. I didn't mean to make him quite so Romulan, though.

To Each Their Own...

I have been making a lot of cucumber and onions in vinegar, very summery, but no one likes it but me!

I love Fosse

oh yeah

Iggy went peepee on the big toilet yesterday for the very first time!

Gardening

I did a little gardening over the weekend, with copious help from my husband. My friend Joy gave me a bunch of lovely ceramic pots, so I had to fill them.
I didn't like the usual fare, so I got an assortment of delicate looking ground cover plants, some creeping thyme, wire vine, and a couple I can't remember.


I think it will look really nice when it fills in.





Also, Tom found this crazy caterpillar:

I love David Cross

QOTSA

I love Bollywood

touching base

Wow.
I haven't actually written anything substantive in a loooooong time.
That is because I am so very lame.
I have slightly more readers now (2), so I better step up and enlighten the huddled masses with anecdotal evidence that my life is cool. Or not cool, to be judged by the reader.
Embedding videos is so easy, though. And, as anyone who has had a toddler knows, easy is good, because mommy is not allowed any time to do anything non-Iggy related.
While I'm talking about Iggy, I may as well update on his foibles and burgeoning person-ness.
-he never says yes, only uh-huh
-he had his first ear infection this week, and his first antibiotics
-he is fascinated by the feel of his nutsack, guess I can't blame him, it's pretty cool
-he only likes the hippest stuffed animals, bought from expensive toy stores in San Francisco, or hand made by a cutting edge fashion designer in Portland. Maybe I'm projecting?
-he is a gifted musical genius

That's all I can think of now.

I finally saw The Science of Sleep, which I loved. I have been reading a lot, nothing earth-shattering, but I do have Heyday by Kurt Anderson on deck, and it's massive.

I have still been pretty sad about my friend's death, but as with all things, everyday life begins to creep back in around the edges, and I haven't cried about it for a couple of weeks. I also haven't visited her husband, and I really should.

*Update! I have seen Gary, now, and we talked about a few things, he seems to be doing well, or as well as could be expected. He will be going to Utah to scatter her ashes in October, I wish I could go. And I cried, again, couldn't help it, seeing him made it real again.

My friend Eric was seriously injured on his bike recently, and that kind of made me anxious, like, who is going to die next? I guess as you get older, more things happen to those you know, as everyone ages, and I feel a little like I'm on a speeding train, hurtling toward the inevitable. I also get this feeling when I notice how huge my kid is, and witness all the crazy things that go on in the world, and realize my son will be a part of this.

That's right, bitches, I'm deep like that.

Big ups to mah friends in SF, one moving, one shaking.

public service announcement

I love delusional people

This one goes out to my injured homeboy, Rico, who almost got his foot torn off, seriously.

Hang tough, Angus!

R.I.P. Don Herbert

I love Johnny Depp

Abba to Zappa

I love Folk Implosion

Who needs a laugh?

Move Over, Rover

Dreams

I keep wishing I would dream about Loretta so I could tell her all about her memorial services.

Sad, dark day

Just posting this picture is almost too much to bear. She was so beautiful.
My friend, Loretta Jayne Donahue, died last night after a yearlong battle with a metastasized melanoma, from skin cancer.
I don't know what else to say, except that she was the most open, kind and generous person I've ever known, and I will always hold our times together next to my heart.
She will be sorely missed by many people.

Notify MIT

My kid can count to ten!

I love Jim Henson

vacation palindrome

Feeble Tom's motel beef.

spoiler

Nun humor

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional.
The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
She said "I saw a man's private part."
He told her to wash her eyes with holy water.
The second nun comes in and says, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."
He asked how.
"I touched a man's private parts."
He told her to wash her hands in holy water.
Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting.
He asked why they were fighting.
The fourth nun said, "I'm not going to wash my mouth in the holy water if she is going to sit in it."

Not necessarily beautiful, but mutated

momentum

I am feeling pouty today because I hurt my right pinky finger.

I was with Iggy at the Children's Museum, trying to lead him somewhere, he tripped, I tripped over him and bit it, hard.

Iggy was fine, the floor is totally rubbery stuff.

I felt the top of my pinky finger bend all the way back and touch the top of my hand. I also bumped my knee, and scuffed my face, but it left no marks.

My hand was impossibly painful, I can barely remember what I did or said with Iggy, just tried to keep up with him and not cry.

I ran it under cold water, which felt wonderful.

By the time I got home, it was a dull throb, and getting tightly swollen.

I went to work, and the bruises began forming all around the base of my pinky and on the palm of my hand, and each knuckle of the finger is dark blue now.

Even if it were broken, I don't think there is much to do, it doesn't appear to need to be reset or anything.

I tried to take a pic, but couldn't do the bruises justice.

aw yeah!

tenacious t

ew wow

communicating

Iggy was crouched in a chair, being too quiet, not answering me, and I couldn't see his head and arms. He finally stands up, chewing something, a crumb of brekkie, perhaps? He climbed up on the chair next to me, and uttered what may have been his first real sentence, "I ate an ant."

And pointed into his mouth.

I asked him, "Was it good?", totally at a loss, trying not to laugh.

He said, "More!"

He's positively aboriginal.

memories

Jane Fonda is hot

Underused Word of the Day

nutate-
[noo-teyt] verb:
rock, sway, or nod; usually involuntarily

Second thoughts...

OK, we aren't going to sell.
I can't ignore the fact that I love this home and the potential it has.
Fuck the neighbors, I'm getting a privacy fence!!!

yet another palindrome...

Did I strap red nude, red rump, also slap murdered underparts? I did!

Palindrome of the Day

Butt raft, fart tub.

Hard Decisions

We are thinking of selling our house.
Pretty sure, actually.
I have really loved this house, my child was born while living here, we have planted many things, had a lot of good memories here.
But, things change.
Our new neighbors are dickheads, and I have a bad vibe about them.
We could use more privacy, and quiet.
The lead paint is the clincher, and we can't afford to remove it all ourselves. We just got turned down for a city grant for lead removal because we make $300 too much to qualify.
I guess my newly remodeled kitchen is a good resale point, but I will really miss it.
I am trying really hard to sever the emotion from the property, or I will be a wreck.

Palindrome of the Day

A slut nixes sex in Tulsa.

Mr. Rogers

I remember loving Mr. Rogers when I was really little, 3-5 maybe, then becoming bored with him, then becoming creeped out by him, eventually becoming a feeling of campy revulsion.

But I'm back to loving him, I'm fascinated by the tours of factories that make every day products, I love his soft voice, and it's just so damn nostalgic.

The easy way out

I still haven't really been blogging, just kind of pretending to post while embedding video or photos.
Still, better than nothing, yes?
Sometimes songs or images better describe how I'm feeling, and I can't think of anything to write!
For posterity, I did see Grindhouse, and enjoyed it, mostly due to my superior attention span. Q.T. did much better than Robert Rodriguez, but both films were riotous and fun.
I just finished reading The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs by Irvine Welsh, and Paint it Black by Janet Fitch. They were both good, the latter suitable mainly for the ladies, I think. Not to be sexist, and it's not necessarily chick lit, either. Ah, what do I know? Welsh always writes in a brogue that takes some getting used to, but the story was great, kind of a modern Dorian Gray tale.

80's life

rhythm, tempo...

awwww...

Tomorrow Comes Today

Happy Spring!

I love this lady...

Again, my cat is a badass...

Last night, my husband and I heard some loud terrifying screams of pain, wailing, barking, hissing, and general mayhem coming from the front porch.
My neighbor's have 2 adolescent pit bulls, very sweet puppies, tearing the shit out of their yard, barking at strangers, and obsessing over my cats, normal dog behavior. Now, my cats don't help, preening themselves just out of reach, sauntering slowly by, free to roam past their yard's border. Begging to be chased.
So, I go out on the porch and Baby has the 2 dogs held off at the porch, looking huge, with his tail puffed out, expanded hair and menacing screech. Every time one of the dogs gets close to him, he explodes hundreds of rapid-fire claw-filled slaps down onto the muzzle of the offender, eliciting eerily childlike screams of pain, and backing the dog off.
If those dogs had gotten a hold of him, he would've been toast, but he was doing a damn good job of sticking up for himself.
I intervened, got the dogs attention, made them get back in their yard and closed the gate. To their credit, I didn't even have to touch them to get them to go, they minded well. The cat went 20 feet up a tree, waiting for it to be over.

...wit' yo' bad self

Travesty!!

I thought these fish were going to eat the duck!

Underused Word of the Day

cosmothetic [kahz-moh-thet-ik]- an adjective meaning 'something that assumes there is an external world'. It is used about a theory of perception that posits the existence of an external world but denies that we have any evidence of it or knowledge about it. Perhaps useful for describing such statements such as "I know there are people who put mayonnaise on hot dogs, but I've never met one myself." From Greek words meaning 'world' plus 'positing'.

Ignatius

Today my son is 2. These have been the best 2 years of my life.

Spring is sprung

I had to post some very Spring-y pictures of my adorable family.

The Mindbending Return of the Killah Cat

I finally have something to blog about!


I have 2 cats, one white 13 year old guy named George, and a huge 20 lb tabby called Baby.


Baby loves to kill birds.


He plucks tender Robins from the low nests, encouraging evolution to make the Robins build higher nests.


He kills Blue Jays whilst being dive bombed by the doomed bird's family.


He has presented me with a huge Northern Flicker on my welcome mat.


Once, when stepping out the front door, we almost squished an adult squirrel, dead, but unmarked, as if he didn't know what to do with it.


He used to howl at the door, smushing his kill against the screen door proudly, but has figured out that this doesn't evoke the reaction he wants, and he usually doesn't get let in until the next morning. Now, he brings it to the porch and plays with it, then carries it away to tear it apart.


Our porch always has feathers, streaks of blood, stray organs or a bird's foot, some voodoo magik.


So, Friday night I was shocked to find this:

I almost screamed.

This is a parrot, people.

I will remind you that I do not live in a parrot friendly climate.

My husband had heard mysterious screeching/squawking noises behind our alley somewhere on the previous evening, but couldn't tell what kind of animal it was.

My worst fear was that he would someday kill a cardinal, and that I would hate him forever, but I never imagined he would get a Conure!

I feel really bad because these are smart, fun birds.

They are also expensive.

We've been looking out for any lost posters around the 'hood, but nothing so far...

Laziest blogger on the interwebs

I can't believe how little I've written.

I think I have a bit of a block.

More precisely, I think I'm just really rusty.

I read other people's blogs all the time, and there are so many funny, well-written people that I feel a little inadequate.

Maybe I am not recognizing the anecdotal things that are happening to me.

I could definitely be posting more about my son, he is a walking anecdote.

Maybe I'm just lazy.

I think I may be reluctant to reveal anything too personal, which is funny, since in reality, I rarely know when to stop revealing personal bits. But, face to face is different than the unknown masses to which you potentially write in a blog.

I'm deluded, just need to get into a habit of writing or posting something, anything more often, and familiarizing myself with the blogger features, and become more comfortable.

Like now, I'm thinking, "No one cares why I haven't posted, why even go into it? Erase it!"

But, I won't, because I have to get the ball rolling somehow.

It would almost be a relief if no one reads the thing, then I could really feel free to grind and moan.